Sean: Knock, knock.
Fawn: Who’s there?
Sean: Murray.
Fawn: Murray who?
Sean: Murray Christmas, one and all!
Fawn: Who’s there?
Sean: Murray.
Fawn: Murray who?
Sean: Murray Christmas, one and all!
Will: What’s a good time for Santa to come down the chimney?
Bill: What?
Will: Anytime!
Bill: What?
Will: Anytime!
Will: Where do snowmen keep their money?
Bill: Beats me.
Will: In a snow bank.
Bill: Beats me.
Will: In a snow bank.
Tim: Did you know Santa had only eight reindeer last Christmas?
Jim: Huh?
Tim: Comet stayed home to clean the sink.
Jim: Huh?
Tim: Comet stayed home to clean the sink.
Chris: What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?
Chrissy: What?
Chris: Chill out.
Chrissy: What?
Chris: Chill out.
Josh: What does Jack Frost like best about school?
John: What?
Josh: Snow and tell.
John: What?
Josh: Snow and tell.
Zoey: What do you get if you cross an iPad with a Christmas tree?
Johnny: I don’t know. What?
Zoey: A pineapple!
Johnny: I don’t know. What?
Zoey: A pineapple!
Moe: What are you going to give your little brother for Christmas this year?
Joe: I haven’t decided yet.
Moe: What did you give him last year?
Joe: The measles.
Joe: I haven’t decided yet.
Moe: What did you give him last year?
Joe: The measles.
Pedro: What has a jolly laugh, brings you presents and scratches up your furniture?
Ordep: Beats me. What?
Pedro: Santa Claws.
Ordep: Beats me. What?
Pedro: Santa Claws.
Teacher: Johnny, define claustrophobia.
Johnny: Fear of Santa Claus?
Johnny: Fear of Santa Claus?
Santa: Knock, knock.
Elf: Who’s there?
Santa: Olive.
Elf: Olive, who?
Santa: Olive the other reindeer.
Elf: Who’s there?
Santa: Olive.
Elf: Olive, who?
Santa: Olive the other reindeer.
Luke: What do elves do after school?
Jeffrey: I don’t know. What?
Luke: Their gnome work!
Jeffrey: I don’t know. What?
Luke: Their gnome work!
Joe: What nationality is Santa Claus?
Moe: What?
Joe: North Polish.
Moe: What?
Joe: North Polish.
Amanda: What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a knight?
Robert: What?
Amanda: One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh.
Robert: What?
Amanda: One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh.
Submitted by Amanda M., Springfield, Mo.
Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas.
Luke: How do you know?
Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.
Luke: How do you know?
Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.
When asked about his job, Frosty always replies, “There’s no business like snow business.”
Warped Wiseman wonders: “Does Santa Claus refer to his elves as ‘subordinate clauses’?”
Josh: Knock, knock!
Samantha: Who’s there?
Josh: Dexter.
Samantha: Dexter, who?
Josh: Dexter halls with boughs of holly.
Samantha: Who’s there?
Josh: Dexter.
Samantha: Dexter, who?
Josh: Dexter halls with boughs of holly.
Trey: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
Brandon: I give up.
Trey: Frostbite.
Brandon: I give up.
Trey: Frostbite.
Josh: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Mark: Dunno. Why?
Josh: Because he had low elf esteem!
Mark: Dunno. Why?
Josh: Because he had low elf esteem!
A book never written: “What Did I Do Wrong THIS Year?” by Kole N. Stocking.
William: What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
David: What?
William: Do you smell carrots?
David: What?
William: Do you smell carrots?
One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, “It’s going to rain.”
His wife asked, “How do you know?”
“Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
Pee Wee: What did the reindeer say to the football player?
Westy: I don’t know.
Pee Wee: “Your Blitzen days are over!”
Westy: I don’t know.
Pee Wee: “Your Blitzen days are over!”
Colton: How does a sheep say “Merry Christmas”?
Tammi: How?
Colton: “Fleece Navidad!”
Tammi: How?
Colton: “Fleece Navidad!”
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