Q: What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?
A:Tarzipan!
Q: Mum, can I have a dog for Christmas?
A: No you can have turkey like everyone else!
Q: What did the eskimos sing when they got there Christmas dinner?
A: "Whalemeat again, don't know where, don't know when"!
Q: Father Christmas lost his umbrella but he didn't get wet! Why not?
A: Because it wasn't raining!
Q: How can you get your name in lights the world over?
A: Change your name to Emergency Exit!
Q: I say, I say, I say! My wife's gone to the West Indies!
A: Jamaica? No. She was quite happy to go!
Q: What question can you never answer YES to?
A: Are you asleep?
Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
A: Dam.
Q: Why was the Turkey in the pop group?
A: Because he was the only one with drum-sticks!
Q: What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy?
A: She gave him the cold shoulder!
Q: What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?
A: Frost bite!
Q: Who is never hungry at Christmas?
A: The turkey - he's always stuffed!
Q: How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party?
A: Chick to chick!
Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party?
A: He had no body to go with!
Q: How do you know Santa has to be a man?
A: No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year.
Q: Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?
A: Because he couldn’t concentrate.
Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low 'elf' esteem.
Did any make you laugh?
A:Tarzipan!
Q: Mum, can I have a dog for Christmas?
A: No you can have turkey like everyone else!
Q: What did the eskimos sing when they got there Christmas dinner?
A: "Whalemeat again, don't know where, don't know when"!
Q: Father Christmas lost his umbrella but he didn't get wet! Why not?
A: Because it wasn't raining!
Q: How can you get your name in lights the world over?
A: Change your name to Emergency Exit!
Q: I say, I say, I say! My wife's gone to the West Indies!
A: Jamaica? No. She was quite happy to go!
Q: What question can you never answer YES to?
A: Are you asleep?
Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
A: Dam.
Q: Why was the Turkey in the pop group?
A: Because he was the only one with drum-sticks!
Q: What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy?
A: She gave him the cold shoulder!
Q: What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?
A: Frost bite!
Q: Who is never hungry at Christmas?
A: The turkey - he's always stuffed!
Q: How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party?
A: Chick to chick!
Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party?
A: He had no body to go with!
Q: How do you know Santa has to be a man?
A: No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year.
Q: Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?
A: Because he couldn’t concentrate.
Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low 'elf' esteem.
Did any make you laugh?
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