Srdr: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Frnd: Y?
Srdr: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..
___________________________________________________________
Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b
there............. Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there
___________________________________________________________
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec
a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
___________________________________________________________
Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?
___________________________________________________________
Sardar had twins; he named them Tin Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
again twins & named Max & Climax.
Again d same. disgusted Sardar named them TIRED&RETIRED!
___________________________________________________________
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".
__________________________________________________________
Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the
Branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Srdr:"I've been promoted as branch manager."
___________________________________________________________
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure
as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!
___________________________________________________________
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
___________________________________________________________
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It"s already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
___________________________________________________________
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
___________________________________________________________
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr
after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!
___________________________________________________________
Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar :- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....
___________________________________________________________
Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'..........
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.
___________________________________________________________
A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR
___________________________________________________________
Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa who died peacefuly
in his
sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d car he was driving..
___________________________________________________________
Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what
you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!
___________________________________________________________
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
___________________________________________________________
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab.
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for
more..
___________________________________________________________
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in
the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
___________________________________________________________
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXYGEN TUBE!"
___________________________________________________________
Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."
___________________________________________________________
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
___________________________________________________________
Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.? Santa: Very long!
___________________________________________________________
Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?
Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.
___________________________________________________________
Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag. Guess what did he ask next... Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.
___________________________________________________________
Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
___________________________________________________________
Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.
___________________________________________________________
Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.
___________________________________________________________
Banta ek ! sadhu se bola" Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
___________________________________________________________
Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne
waali kya baat thi.?
___________________________________________________________
Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.
___________________________________________________________
Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before
leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.
___________________________________________________________
A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...
___________________________________________________________
Q: How do
you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
___________________________________________________________
Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on platform?
___________________________________________________________
Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call
___________________________________________________________
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
___________________________________________________________
Santa: I'm a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What's he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
___________________________________________________________
Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
___________________________________________________________
Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.
___________________________________________________________
What's Ford? Santa: Gaadi. What's Oxford? Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha. Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.
___________________________________________________________
Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.
___________________________________________________________
Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"
Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash ?"
_________________________________________
Frnd: Y?
Srdr: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..
___________________________________________________________
Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b
there............. Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there
___________________________________________________________
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec
a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
___________________________________________________________
Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?
___________________________________________________________
Sardar had twins; he named them Tin Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
again twins & named Max & Climax.
Again d same. disgusted Sardar named them TIRED&RETIRED!
___________________________________________________________
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".
__________________________________________________________
Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the
Branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Srdr:"I've been promoted as branch manager."
___________________________________________________________
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure
as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!
___________________________________________________________
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
___________________________________________________________
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It"s already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
___________________________________________________________
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
___________________________________________________________
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr
after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!
___________________________________________________________
Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar :- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....
___________________________________________________________
Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'..........
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.
___________________________________________________________
A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR
___________________________________________________________
Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa who died peacefuly
in his
sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d car he was driving..
___________________________________________________________
Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what
you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!
___________________________________________________________
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
___________________________________________________________
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab.
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for
more..
___________________________________________________________
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in
the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
___________________________________________________________
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXYGEN TUBE!"
___________________________________________________________
Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."
___________________________________________________________
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
___________________________________________________________
Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.? Santa: Very long!
___________________________________________________________
Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?
Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.
___________________________________________________________
Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag. Guess what did he ask next... Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.
___________________________________________________________
Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
___________________________________________________________
Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.
___________________________________________________________
Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.
___________________________________________________________
Banta ek ! sadhu se bola" Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
___________________________________________________________
Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne
waali kya baat thi.?
___________________________________________________________
Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.
___________________________________________________________
Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before
leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.
___________________________________________________________
A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...
___________________________________________________________
Q: How do
you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
___________________________________________________________
Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on platform?
___________________________________________________________
Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call
___________________________________________________________
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
___________________________________________________________
Santa: I'm a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What's he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
___________________________________________________________
Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
___________________________________________________________
Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.
___________________________________________________________
What's Ford? Santa: Gaadi. What's Oxford? Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha. Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.
___________________________________________________________
Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.
___________________________________________________________
Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"
Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash ?"
_________________________________________
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