Wednesday, 3 July 2013

Tintumon Jokes in English

Daily Needs :
Food- ..........▀ 5%
Water- ........▀ 1%
Sleep-......... . ▀ 4%
facebook-....▀▀▀▀▀ 90%
Hit'like'if you agree
We are now ruled by

Amma in South; (Jayalalitha)
Didi in East;(Mamata Banerjee)
Behenji in North; (Mayawati)
Aunty in the Capital;(Sheila Dikshit)
Madam in Center; (Sonia)
Nani on top (the president)
& "Wife" At Home

And yet people say.. It's a Man's World!!!!!


Tintumon’s First Interview
Interviewer: “Tell me opposite words.. COOL”
Tintumon: “Hot”
Interviewer: Girl
Tintumon: “Boy”
Int: ” India ”
Tintu: ” Pakistan ”
Int: “Good Keep it up”
Tintumon: “Bad Put it down”
Int: “Stop It”
Tintumon: “Start that”
Int: “Idiot Get Out”
Tintumon: “Clever Come in”
Int: “Oh my God”
Tintumon: “Oh your devil”
Int: “I rejected You”
Tintumon: “You appointed Me” 

Teacher: If you are in moon, what will be your weight
a) increase
b)decrease
c) no change
d) can not be predicted…
Tintumon: Decrease
Teacher: why
Tintumon: you will not get good food!!!


Teacher: rite a sentence ending with hand.
tintu:My penis in your hand.teacher slapped tintu.
tintu:sorry mam i forgot to put space between pen is

Q: Why are there no elephants in Bollywood?
A:They can't run around trees without knocking them down.
  
 The teacher asks tintumon if he knows his numbers.
“Yes,” he says. “My daddy taught me.”
“Can you tell me what comes after three?”
“Four”
“What comes after six?”
“Seven”
“Very good,” says the teacher. “Your father did a very fine job.
What comes after ten?”
“A jack,” answers tintumon…


Tintumon: I was feeling so sleepy this morning that I tossed a coin to decide whether I should attend class or go back to bed.
Dundumon: So, what did you finally do?
Tintumon: I had to toss 10 times before I could finally go back to bed.


Tintumon: Dad , there is a small PTA meeting at my school tomorrow …..
Dad: Tintu , What do you mean by a small PTA meeting ???
Tintumon : It is …. . Just You , me and The Principal !!!


Teacher : What is the formula of water ?
Tintumon : H2MgClNaClHNO3CaCO3Ca(OH)2SnTnHgNiHCl(COOH)2O

Teacher : What is this ?
Tintumon : This is Corporation Water!


Dundumon : Why did you sleep with a scale ?
Tintumon : Because , I want to measure how long I have slept !!!!!!!


Tintumon is following Pinkymol …….
Pinkymol : Don't follow me . My Mother is coming behind you .
Tintumon : Don't worry . My Father is following her !!!!!!!


Tintumon’s doubt......
The black box of the Aeroplane is indestructible .
But why do they not make the Aeroplane of the same material ???


Teacher : Tintumon , You have been sending E-Mails to other Students that I am Ugly ???
Tintumon : Sorry Madam ... I didn’t realize that you wanted to Keep it a Secret …

Tintumon and Dundumon were beggars .
Tintumon : I had a grand dinner at Taj hotel yesterday .
Dundumon : How ???
Tintumon : Some one gave me a Rs 100/- note yesterday . I went to Taj hotel and ordered dinner worth Rs 1,000/- 
and enjoyed the dinner . When the bill came , I said , I had no money . 
The hotel manager called the police man and handed over me to him . I gave the Rs 100/- note to the police fellow 
and he set me free.

No comments:

“A man walks into a bar” joke

  “A man walks into a bar” joke A lot of jokes start with this sentence. Then the joke continues with a little story about a man in a bar. B...