Yo Mama Jokes Galore!

Yo mama is so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease, the doctor gave her ten years to live. 

Yo mama is so fat that her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell "taxi!" 

Yo mama is so fat and dumb that the only reason she opened her email was because she heard it contained spam. 

Yo mama is so fat that the only exercise she gets is when she chases the ice cream truck. 

Yo mama is so fat that the National Weather Service names each one of her farts. 

Yo mama is so fat she threw on a sheet for Halloween and went as Antarctica. 

Yo mama is so fat that she looked up cheat codes for Wii Fit 

Yo mama is so fat that she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose. 

Yo mama is so fat that when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up. 

Yo mama is so fat that she has to iron her pants on the driveway. 

Yo mama is so fat that she left the house in high heels and came back wearing flip flops. 

Yo mama is so fat that people jog around her for exercise. 

Yo mama is so fat that she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the New World. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she walked in front of the TV, I missed 3 seasons of Breaking Bad.

Yo mama is so fat that you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through! 

Yo mama is so fat that that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean... 

Yo mama is so fat that when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she talks to herself, it’s a long distance call. 

Yo mama is so fat that the last time she saw 90210, it was on a scale. 

Yo mama is so fat that light bends around her. 

Yo mama is so fat that I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing! 

Yo mama is so fat that when she sat on Wal-Mart, she lowered the prices. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she sat on an iphone, it turned into an ipad. 

Yo mama is so fat that even god can't lift her spirit. 

Yo mama is so fat that she gets group insurance. 

Yo mama is so fat that she was zoned for commercial development. 

Yo mama is so fat that she walked into the Gap and filled it. 

Yo mama is so fat that she comes at you from all directions. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she climbed onto a diving board at the beach, the lifeguard told your dad "sorry, you can't park here". 

Yo mama is so fat that her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard. 

Yo mama is so fat that she looks like she’s smuggling a Volkswagen. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she got her shoes shined, she had to take the guy’s word for it. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she sings, it’s over for everybody. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton to display her picture. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she was growing up she didn’t play with dolls, she played with midgets. 

Yo mama is so fat that she uses two buses for roller-blades. 

Yo mama so fat she blew up the Deathstar. 

Yo mama so fat that when it’s time to take the subway no one else can come on!

Yo mama so fat, she's "Large, Single, and ready to Pringle." 

Yo mama so fat if you had a dollar for every pound she weighed you could pay down the national debt. 

Yo mama so fat I use her as a queen size mattress and she doesn't even know it. 

Yo mama so fat and greasy she uses bacon as a bandaid. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she goes to a buffet, she gets the group rate. 

Yo mama is so fat that she has to put her belt on with a boomerang. 

Yo mama is so fat that she broke the Stairway to Heaven.

Yo mama is so fat that she doesn’t eat with a fork, she eats with a forklift. 

Yo mama is so fat that the last time the landlord saw her, he doubled the rent. 

Yo mama is so fat that Weight Watchers won’t look at her. 

Yo mama is so fat that the highway patrol made her wear a sign saying "Caution! Wide Turn". 

Yo mama is so fat that when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE! 

Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it reads "one at a time, please". 

Yo mama is so fat that she fell in love and broke it. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she gets on the scale it says "We don't do livestock". 

Yo mama is so fat that when she tripped on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th. 

Yo mama is so fat that God couldn't light the Earth until she moved! 

Yo momma so fat she has to wear her pants backwards, because her front butt is bigger 

Yo mama is so fat that even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction! 

Yo mama is so fat that she has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets. 

Yo mama is so fat that she was born on the fourth, fifth, and sixth of June. 

Yo mama is so fat that she could fall down and wouldn’t even know it. 

Yo mama is so fat that the sign inside one restaurant says, “Maximum occupancy: 300, or Yo momma.” 

Yo mama is so fat that she puts mayonnaise on aspirin. 

Yo mama is so fat that she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips. 

Yo mama is so fat that she had to go to Sea World to get baptized. 

Yo mama is so fat that her bellybutton’s got an echo. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she turns around people throw her a welcome back party. 

Yo mama is so fat that her belly button doesn’t have lint, it has sweaters. 

Yo mama is so fat that a picture of her would fall off the wall. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she takes a shower, her feet don’t get wet. 

Yo mama is so fat that she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller! 

Yo mama is so fat that she could sell shade. 

Yo mama is so fat that I ran around her twice and got lost. 

Yo mama is so fat that the shadow of her butt weighs 100 pounds. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she’s standing on the corner police drive by and yell, “Hey, break it up.” Yo mama is so fat that her blood type is Ragu. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she runs the fifty-yard dash she needs an overnight bag. 

Yo mama is so fat that she can’t even fit into an AOL chat room. 

Yo mama is so fat when she goes skydiving she doesn't use a parachute to land, she uses a twin-engine plane! 

Yo mama is so fat MTX audio's subwoofers couldn't rattle her bones! 

Yo mama is so fat her headphones are a pair of PA speakers connected to a car amplifier. 

Yo mama is so fat that she doesn’t have a tailor, she has a contractor. 

Yo mama is so fat that eating contests have banned her because she is unfair competition. 

Yo mama is so fat that she measures 36-24-36, and the other arm is just as big. 

Yo mama is so fat that she gets her toenails painted at Lucky’s Auto Body. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER! 

Yo mama is so fat that when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck! 

Yo mama is so fat that she has more Chins than a Chinese phone book! 

Yo mama is so fat that she influences the tides. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she plays hopscotch, she goes "New York, L.A., Chicago..." 

Yo mama is so fat that NASA has to orbit a satellite around her! 

Yo mama is so fat that when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo. 

Yo mama is so fat that they have to grease the bath tub to get her out! 

Yo mama is so fat that she's on both sides of the family! 

Yo mama is so fat that at the zoo, the elephants throw HER peanuts. 

Your momma is so fat when she walked in her new house the first thing she saw was the basement. 

Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow! 

Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it. 

Yo mama is so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her. 

Yo mama is so fat that she sets off car alarms when she runs. 

Yo mama is so fat that she cant reach into her back pocket. 

Yo mama is so fat that she has her own gravity field. 

Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles. 

Yo mama is so fat that the only pictures you have of her were taken by satellite cameras. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she wears a "Malcolm X" T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back! 

Yo mama is so fat that it took Usain Bolt 3 years to run around her.

Yo mama so fat that she sweats more than a dog in a Chinese restaurant. 

Yo mama so fat, that went she stepped in the water, Thailand had to declare another tsunami warning. 

Yo mama is so fat that that she cant tie her own shoes. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she lays on the beach, people run around yelling Free Willy. 

Yo mama is so fat that she uses redwoods to pick her teeth 

Yo mama is so fat that she cut her leg and gravy poured out 

Yo mama is so fat that she was in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade... wearing ropes. 

Yo mama is so fat that she went on a light diet. As soon as it’s light she starts eating. 

Yo mama is so fat that she’s half Italian, half Irish, and half American. 

Yo mama is so fat that her waist size is the Equator. 

Yo mama is so fat that she can’t even jump to a conclusion. 

Yo mama is so fat that she uses a mattress for a tampon. 

Yo mama so fat when she stood in front of the HOLLYWOOD sign, you could only see H-D 

Yo mama so fat she’s a map on Call of Duty! 

Yo mama so fat, she stepped on a Lego and broke it! 

Yo mama so fat, her address is McDonalds. 

Yo mama so fat she has to wear a spandex wedding ring. 

Yo Mama so fat she uses a Snickers bar for a toothbrush. 

Yo Mama so fat that it takes 30 men and 3 cranes to get her in skinny jeans.

Yo mama so fat even penguins are jealous of the way she waddles. 

Yo mama is so fat she craps lard 

Yo mama so fat she needs a steamroller to iron her clothes. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock at me?" 

Yo mama is so fat that we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay for her because we dressed her up as a Toyota. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks. 

Yo mama is so fat that she was cut from the cast of E.T., because she caused an eclipse when she rode the bike across the moon. 

Yo mama is so fat that when you get on top of her your ears pop. 

Yo mama is so fat that she got hit by a car and had to go to the hospital to have it removed. 

Yo mama is so fat that she eats "Wheat Thicks". 

Yo mama is so fat that we're in her right now! 

Yo mama is so fat that she went to the movie theatre and sat next to everyone. 

Yo mama is so fat that she has been declared a natural habitat for condors. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she wants to shake someones hand, she has to give directions! 

Yo mama is so fat that even Dora can't explore her! 

Yo mama is so fat that when she gets on the scale it says "to be continued". 

Yo mama is so fat that when she goes to a resturant, she looks at the menu and says "okay!" 

Yo mama is so fat that even Chuck Norris couldn't run around her. 

Yo mama is so fat that her neck looks like a dozen hot dogs! 

Yo mama is so fat that when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell! 

Yo mama is so fat that she's got her own area code! 

Yo mama is so fat that she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon! 

Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy three airline tickets. 

Yo mama is so fat that whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in! 

Yo mama is so fat that she's got Amtrak written on her leg. 

Yo mama is so fat that her legs are like spoiled milk - white & chunky! 

Yo mama is so fat that I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side! 

Yo mama is so fat that she wakes up in sections! 

Yo mama so fat, all she wants for Christmas is to see her feet. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she lies on the beach no one else gets any sun! 

Yo mama is so fat that that her senior pictures had to be taken from a helicopter! 

Yo mama is so fat that everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil! 

Yo mama is so fat that she fell and created the Grand Canyon! 

Yo mama is so fat that her butt drags on the ground and kids yell - "there goes santa claus with his bag of toys!" 

Yo mama is so fat that even her clothes have stretch marks! 

Yo mama is so fat that she has to use a VCR as a beeper! 

Yo mama is so fat that when she asked for a waterbed, they put a blanket over the ocean! 

Yo mama is so fat that she got hit by a parked car! 

Yo mama is so fat that they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping. 

Yo mama is so fat that when we were playing Call of Duty, I got a 20 kill streak for killing her. 

Yo mama is so fat that Dracula got Type 2 Diabetes after biting her neck. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she visited Toronto's City Hall, she was arrested for attempting to smuggle 500 lbs of crack into Mayor Rob Ford's office. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again. 

Yo mama is so fat that that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she went to church and sat on a bible, Jesus came out and said "LET MY PEOPLE GO!" 

Yo mama is so fat that when she dances at a concert the whole band skips. 

Yo mama is so fat that she stands in two time zones. 

Yo mama is so fat that she went to the fair and the kids thought she was a bouncy castle. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps. 

Yo mama is so fat that the camera TAKES AWAY 10 lbs from her appearance. 

Yo mama is so fat that her sedan can fit 5 people... or just yo mama with the front seats removed. 

Yo mama is so fat that when she went to seaworld the whales started singing "We Are Family". 

Yo mama is so fat that she fell out of both sides of her bed. 

Yo mama is so fat that the stripes on her pajamas never end. 

Yo mama is so fat, Al Gore accuses her of global warning everytime she farts! 

Yo mama is so fat that she's got every caterer in the city on speed dial! 

yo mama so fat that when she goes on a scale, it shows her own phone number. 

yo mama so fat that she doesn't need the internet - she's worldwide. 

yo mama so fat that when she goes on a scale, it reads "lose some weight". 

yo mama so fat that she doesn't get dreams, she gets movies! 

yo mama so fat that when she walks, she changes the earth's rotation! 

Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, Instagram crashed. 

Yo mama so fat that when she fell down the stairs, I wasn't laughing but the stairs were cracking up. 

Yo mama so fat it took 3 years for Nationwide to get on her side. 

Yo mama so fat her idea of dieting is deleting the cookies from the internet cache. 

Yo mama so fat she has mass regardless of whether the Higgs Boson exists or not. 

Yo mama so fat I bumped into her and said "Sorry, my mistake." And she said "Did you just say steak?!" 

Yo mama is so fat that she uses the entire country of Mexico as her tanning bed.