Best 50th Birthday Jokes and Sayings

"The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." ~ T. S. Eliot.


"First you forget names, 
then you forget faces, 
then you forget to pull your zipper up, 
then you forget to pull your zipper down." ~ Leo Rosenberg.

"There are numerous advantages in being fifty - just ask any eighty year old!!!"


"The cardiologist's diet: 
if it tastes good, spit it out." ~ Paulina Borsook.

"A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police." ~ Henny Youngman.

"Growing old is a question of mind over matter. Provided you don’t mind it really doesn’t matter."

Here's one of my favorite 50th birthday jokes for men,
"you are not 50, just 49.95, plus tax."

"You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely." ~ Ogden Nash.

"Life is a theater - growing old the drama to be performed. It’s just unfortunate that no dress rehearsal is allowed."

"Happy 20th anniversary of your 30th Birthday."

"Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake."

"I get up each morning and dust off my wits, 
then pick up the paper and read the"o-bits." 
If my name isn't there, then I know I'm not dead. 
I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed." ~ Anonymous.

"At age 50, everyone has the face he deserves." ~ George Orwell.

"You know you’re getting old when the only way to accurately tell your age is by carbon dating."

"I’m aiming by the time I’m fifty to stop being an adolescent." ~ Wendy Cope.

"Looking forty is great if you’re fifty!"