1st Blonde jokes
Three
women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead and
one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the
executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the
executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the brunette yells,
''EARTHQUAKE!!!'' Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the
ground while she escapes. The guard brings the redhead forward and
the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no and the
executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the redhead yells,
''TORNADO!!!'' Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while
she escapes. By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard
brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last
requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready! Aim!'' and
the blonde yells, ''FIRE!!!'''
2nd Yo momma jokes
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
3rd Birthday jokes
A
man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"
She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday,
he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put
her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop,
the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered
out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her
stomach turning. Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and
sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into
bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like
being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey,
I meant dress size!"
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