Funny Jokes Joke: The Church Organist

There was this small church in Texas that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.
The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.
So, one of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green persimmons and rub them on the nipples of her breasts and they would shrink in size, but warned her to not eat any of the green persimmons, 'because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for awhile'.
She agreed to try it.
The following Sunday morning the minister got up on the pulpit and said....
'Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hath a thermon tewday.'

Funny Jokes Joke: The African Poodle

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there a re any more around here.' Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!' Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the entire scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!' Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: 'Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!'

Funny Jokes Joke: The Game Show Question

Bob couldn't believe it -- he'd made it to the last round of his favorite game show. "Congratulations, Bob," said the emcee. "Answer correctly and you go home with five million dollars! "This is a two-part question on American history," he continued. "The second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like first?" Bob figured he'd play it safe. "I think I'll try the second part of the question first." The emcee nodded approvingly, while the audience was silent with anticipation. "Okay, Bob, here is your question: And in what year did it happen?"

Funny Jokes Joke: The Human Cannonball

After a long career of being blasted into a net, the human cannonball was tired. He told the circus owner he was going to retire. "But you can't!" protested the boss. "Where am I going to find another man of your caliber?"

Funny Jokes Joke: Who Shalt Make Thine Coffee?

A husband and wife were arguing about who should make the coffee in the morning. The wife said the husband gets up first and should make the coffee. The husband said it's the woman's job...the kitchen is her domain...she should make the coffee.
The wife said, "Wait a minute, what do you mean it's the woman's job? The Bible says the man should make the coffee."
"It does not," said the husband. So the wife went and got the family bible and showed him clear as day...HEBREWS.